Doublespeak or mental dysfunction?

When I first heard the butchered version of the American-English language that Sarah Palin speaks, I was appalled at the offensive way it felt to actually say these words aloud, as I often would while reading the news and talking politics over waffles with my hyper-intelligent, super sexy wife.  I mean seriously, watching this woman resign the Governorship of Alaska for the good of the state, and acting like she was all the more righteous for doing so, was kind of like watching a Good Night Moon get torn apart slowly by several pissed off cats.

As it turns out, this lack of eloquence is common among Republicans resigning from things.  Rick Santorum had this to say today about his political aspirations:

“We made a decision over the weekend, that while this presidential race for us is over, for me, and we will suspend our campaign today, we are not done fighting.”

Read it aloud, maybe two or three times for full effect.  Feel the way the words jangle around in your mouth like they weren't quite meant to go together, or used to go together but can't anymore because they've been misused for years.  Here is someone who could have benefited from No Child Left Behind, because by the sound of it, he was left behind at around 7th or 8th grade.  Either that or he's planning some kind of made-for-TV comeback, in which he storms the stage at the Republican National Convention and claims that it is god's plan for him to be president, at which point he and Mitt Romney get all oiled up and cage fight for the nomination.  He's just throwing us off guard with his mangled words.  Yeah, that's it.

 

The fact that a person who speaks like this, and who believes in ridiculous things like the absolute superiority of man over all things without a human penis, could actually convince as many people as he did that he's qualified to be president is a despicable commentary on modern America.